Drunk ramblings = FAIL.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Sara Lou,

The first thing you have to understand is that you're not alone girl. In your post you told you found a family here... Well, it's true and we're here to help you and we do care about you, that's what a family should be about after all.
I'd wanna tell you a story, but in private. Contact me if you have a chanche, I'm here.

Wow, deep. Speechless.

All I can possibly say to help you put things in perspective, is that 18 years old was 18 years AGO for me.

The people that meant SO much to me then, aren't even a blip on my radar screen these days. Shit, many of them could be dead for all I know. I have maybe 3 or 4 people in my life that I can trace back to those days.

Point being, all the people that you are trying to please, and mean so much in the moment, are more likely than not, insignificant in the scheme of things.

I have an awesome life right now, and you should look forward to the future, when your life will be awesome as well.

Good luck.

You know, I actually expected to come here and see someone tell me I was an idiot for spilling all that. LOL. I guess I sort of felt like an idiot for that big post (as I have a tendency to do idiotic things while drunk)....but I guess he just means a lot to me and nothing can nor will take that away, you know?

I don't know anymore. It's not that I don't know about how much I care about him, or love him. I do know that. I do know that I still care about him and love him so damn much. What I don't know is....well, I don't know about a lot of things these days, haha.

But thanks to you two for replying and making me feel as though it's OK to open up to you all. I love this place, I really do. :]

(PS: I'm gonna PM you Milla. :])

You're an idiot for spilling all that.

quote:

Originally posted by T-Loooo:
You're an idiot for spilling all that.

LOL! I f'n love you, Tiff!

Sara, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I read it and almost pm-d you, but was selfish knowing it would take me a LONG time to write all I would want to, thus deciding not to. you're not alone. And, although what Xdog said was very simplified, I swear, he IS right. I'm not trivializing how you feel in ANY way, for I'm sure it's all too real. And, I'm not saying you'll forget 'him' or even that you will not always love 'him,' but if you focus on you...what's good for you, moving on trying to make a life for yourself, even if the loss/pain doesn't lesson, you'll at least find things to make you happy, keep you busy, together, and on track, that will make the bad/hurt tolerable. But, PLEASE, PLEASE stop using all the negative things you've been using to 'cope,' for YOU! If you can and would do it for him, you MUST do it for you! Why would he or anyone else worthy of that want to be w/someone that doesn't love and respect themselves enough to do that for themselves? Many will, don't get me wrong...but, it would make for a very dysfunctional, enabling relationship, most likely causing both of you much drama, heartache, etc. Also, putting that much responsibility for your own personal well being...your life...on someone else may seem romantic on the surface, but it is just SO not fair, hun. Do it for YOU, not someone else, and you will actually be able to offer someone so much MORE of yourself. Please find some non-self-destructive vices, hun...for YOU! And, trust in and lean on God. ;] I truly don't like proselytizing, but I just really felt led to add that.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Raina,

quote:

Originally posted by T-Loooo:
You're an idiot for spilling all that.

GD i want to be your love slave.

quote:

Originally posted by LEFTYJLAJ:

quote:

Originally posted by T-Loooo:
You're an idiot for spilling all that.

GD i want to be your love slave.

I like the sound of that.

And raina, I was with you until you brought god into it :P

One thing I was told by my ex of 2 years, which at the time I thought was the most stupid reason I had ever heard in my life, and completely ruined me for awhile... until I saw it from the outside, with my friend's relationship...

Is you can't love somebody without first loving yourself.

As dumb as it may sound to you at the moment, it's true. You fix yourself from outside sources, it doesn't work that way. You really need to do whats good for you, plus, if you do what's good for you, help yourself, find yourself, others will find you.

I'm in the beginning stages of that. I know exactly how you feel, but it took me forever, and finally figuring out myself, that I just needed to figure out me.

It's all alright little miss Sara Lou

Fuck, I sneezed.

It'll be okay, hun. If all else fails, go get drunk and watch Gregory Peck movies, talking to yourself about how he's a real man and he'd never let you down.

quote:

Originally posted by T-Loooo:

quote:

Originally posted by LEFTYJLAJ:

quote:

Originally posted by T-Loooo:
You're an idiot for spilling all that.

GD i want to be your love slave.

I like the sound of that.

And raina, I was with you until you brought god into it :P

Tiff, get your evil arse saved already...you know you wanna. And, Jesus LOOOOOOVES you!

quote:

Originally posted by Nova:
Fuck, I sneezed.

It'll be okay, hun. If all else fails, go get drunk and watch Gregory Peck movies, talking to yourself about how he's a real man and he'd never let you down.

LOL I luv ya, Kyle! How've you been, boy?

i feel your pain...only time will heal your wounds

quote:

Originally posted by Raina:
Tiff, get your evil arse saved already...you know you wanna. And, Jesus LOOOOOOVES you!

Hahahaha. I don't know if I ever told you, but I went to a private christian school for 11 years. When I was around 16, I started to become disgusted with the "christians" that I knew. There was so much hypocrisy and judgement, and it just wasn't for me anymore.

wow tiff, its kinda creepy how much we have in common. thats probably why we get eachother. i went to private catholic school till i was 11. when the principal/nun told me at the age of 8 i was going to hell and couldnt be saved as she was beating my hands with a ruler i kinda got a bad taste in my mouth for organized religion. its sad though that when people (including myself) hear jesus they automatically think of religion and dogma. i dont believe in the stories i heard in mass or read in the bible, but i do KNOW there is something out there that has kept me alive and has looked out for me in a few situations but i dont think its a jew with a beard who could turn water into wine.

oh my gosh i couldn't agree with you both (Tiff & Left) sheez i went to catholic school for 9 years....i just don't agree with religion and what they teach....i did go to mass one day with an open mind and listened to everything the priest had to say...and his sermon was just way tooo judgmental...been turned off ever since

quote:

Originally posted by Rosie is DOWNwitSTAIND:
oh my gosh i couldn't agree with you both (Tiff & Left) sheez i went to catholic school for 9 years....i just don't agree with religion and what they teach....i did go to mass one day with an open mind and listened to everything the priest had to say...and his sermon was just way tooo judgmental...been turned off ever since

Is it just me or does it always seem to be Catholics who come to disagree with their religion at some point in their lives? Every Catholic I know is kinda screwed up from it....

its all in how the taught children about religion. our generation got beaten by them, molested by them, made them fear god, feel doomed. so when we got older and had kids many of us dont make our kids go to church cause of our shit with em. the church used to be involved in the town and the community. their opinion on shit was important. kinda like they were part of the governemt cause church was so important back then. now because of some dumb "people" involved in the church theres less members. i mean the government took it out of public schools. now religion is used to just bash other religions. who know where church and religion will be in another 100 to 500 years.


hope any of that made sense.
i just smoked a fatty

quote:

Originally posted by Sara Lou:
Drunk ramblings = FAIL.

i just saw this edit.

haha. classic

quote:

Originally posted by LEFTYJLAJ:
its all in how the taught children about religion. our generation got beaten by them, molested by them, made them fear god, feel doomed. so when we got older and had kids many of us dont make our kids go to church cause of our shit with em. the church used to be involved in the town and the community. their opinion on shit was important. kinda like they were part of the governemt cause church was so important back then. now because of some dumb "people" involved in the church theres less members. i mean the government took it out of public schools. now religion is used to just bash other religions. who know where church and religion will be in another 100 to 500 years.


hope any of that made sense.
i just smoked a fatty

It did make sense - a lot of sense, actually. I mean, I'm down with God, don't get me wrong, but church is the whole reason I don't even GO to church anymore. Religion can really fuck you up. I used to have this paralyzing fear of the apocalypse because talk of it was all around me, and a lot of people who go to church are the kind of people who head off to church on Sunday morning then cuss you out on Sunday afternoon, you know?

I was taught that I could be forgiven for anything though, so I don't have this huge fear of religion like other people I know. My friend Ritz completely left religion behind, all because she went to a Catholic school and was taught basically, her whole life long, that no matter what, she was going to Hell - so she just left it all behind. I'm sure that happens with people of all denominations, not just Catholics or whatever.

I also think that there's a huge reverse psychology epidemic going on with younger people and religion. I think I embrace Christianity because it wasn't shoved down my throat, but I've noticed with so many people around my age, if they had it shoved down their throat their whole life (like Ritz did), then they grow up to resent it.

Now I just hope that MY post made sense, LOL.

quote:

Originally posted by LEFTYJLAJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Sara Lou:
Drunk ramblings = FAIL.

i just saw this edit.

haha. classic

Very classic. =D And very true.

no it made sense.

i was told when i was 8 that i was going to hell and there was nothing i could do about it. my nun principal was the one who told me this as she was beating my knuckles with a ruler. i then got expelled for telling her fuck you.


thats not religion. thats not what god or whatever wants. thats people trying to use religion as parenting skills and it doesnt work. at least not for a punk ass kid like me.