“No you don’t love me” I screamed as I tried to break away from his grasp.

“Baby I do love you, she meant nothing” Jamal said as he held my arm tightly with one hand while trying to pull up his pants with the other. I knew better than that though, this isn’t the first time Jamal has ever cheated on me and I know it damn sure won’t be the last.

“Natalie, I love you please don’t leave” he pleaded as I yanked my arm away from him and ran into the closet and pulled out a duffel bag.

“No Jamal, I can’t stay here any longer, you honestly don’t respect me as a woman and I refuse to sit here and let you string me along as if I’m one of your whore’s I'm sorry but I have to go” I said throwing the last of my items into the duffel bag and walked to the open bedroom door, before I could leave I turned and said

“Please don’t come looking for me, don’t call my phone, or don’t stop by my mom’s house ever again, I want nothing else to do with you.” With that said I swiftly ran out the door and into my car.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: .Fuck You™,

you forgot the other qoutation mark. =]

pretty good, but you should start a new paragraph everytime a new person speaks.

Ok, thanks yall

[ Goes to edit )

whats wrong breeze?

its over.. im done im dead yo forreal. I dont understand it.
Fuck errithing moe.

_{Two Years Later}

As I look back on that terrible night it brings me to tears. How could I be so stupid as to let someone I love so dearly go? At the age of 26 I have nothing going for myself, I can’t keep a stable job and I’m struggling to keep up with my rent on my apartment.

“Maybe it was a mistake letting him go.” I said as I sat in my best friend, Tiffany’s kitchen.

“No, it would have been a mistake if you had stayed, Natalie he couldn’t respect you as a woman and if you stay with a man you know can’t respect you then maybe you just don’t respect yourself.” She said as she sat her cup of coffee down on the island.

She was right, I don’t respect myself but not for the reason she thinks. I don’t respect myself for letting him go; I left a great life behind and even though he slept around on me, Jamal was a good man, he always took me out and he treated me like a woman. We had some of the best times together, but I won’t dare waste my breath and tell her all of the good things he’s done for me because I’m more than certain it would go right over her head.

“Natalie, what happened to you, you let that half of a man drag you down. Somewhere between the first date and the final goodbye you have lost yourself, and I can’t bear to see it any longer and I’m sorry to tell you this, you can't occupy all of my time anymore, I have a husband and two children and a load of respect, you can call me when you get at least two of the three.” She said getting up and showing me the way out.

“I don’t need your assistance; I can see myself to the door thank you.” I said, infuriated that she would put me out of her home and her life because of my low confidence issues. I had to admit, even though that just hurt me deeply I knew it was only a matter of time before our friendship came to an end. After I left Jamal I’ve been attaching to my friends for emotional support and it’s driven them all away.

“Hey Natalie, I don’t mean to sound harsh or rude, but as your friend I can’t stand to see you like this, you are a wonderful woman but I can’t make you see it you have to see it for yourself. I love you.” She said as she hugged me and then slowly closed the door in my face. I didn’t know what to do next, I sat in the pouring rain for about two minutes before I dragged myself to my car, I looked at the glove compartment and took a deep breath, and without a second thought I reached in and pulled out the razor blade and began carving my wet flesh in her driveway.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: .Fuck You™,

what happened.

&& I've been living

like " Fuck errithing for a minute"

especially after what happened with
me and my soon - to - be - ex if he
doesnt straighten up.

Well im livin like that now becuase of my ex.

oooh.

ups.

Upss and im out we got new memebers and i need to tawk to you bout someshit. If your wack ass had long distance you could have called!
I like to txt tho.

bumpzzzz love it....

I cringed as I watched the blood drip from the open cuts, but I continued to carve away, believing that not even this pain is greater than the pain inflicted upon me in the past years. I’ve been cutting myself every since I walked out on my perfect life, outside of the infidelity. When I decided that was enough, I simply wiped the remainder of blood from the razor and secured it back inside of my glove compartment and slowly backed out of the driveway. The drive back to that apartment was a hard one; it was hard to keep focus especially when I kept thinking of driving my car off of every bridge that I crossed. I couldn’t bear looking at the raggedy apartment complex as I exited the car, but this was now my home, and since I had no more friends I had no choice but to get more acquainted with the four walls.

When I opened the door to my apartment, I noticed the mail on the end table that I figured the landlord probably brought in for me. Noticing nothing of importance I threw the mail back on the table and turned on the television and to my surprise I see the man that played a small part in ruining my life. There he stood at 6’2”, Jamal Kendrick, successful Entertainment Lawyer and here I am, pathetic Natalie Jones. My eyes were glued to him as he spoke to the host.

“I have everything I’ve ever wished for in life, except that one person to share it with. All I need is one woman to make everything in my life complete.” He said flashing that smile that I still love to this day.

I could have been that girl, I still could be that girl but I know Jamal would never forgive me for walking out of his life. Hell, I’m pretty sure it won’t be hard for him to find that one woman to make his life complete. As bad as I would like to flip the channel, I noticed what made me fall in love with him in the first place, that confidence and the way that he carries himself, that overall
“swagga”. I would kill to be there with him tonight, but I stood in the way of that opportunity two years ago and I know I’ve ruined my chances of ever being with him again, or any other man for that matter.


The Next Morning

I’m awakened by a loud bang on the door; I slowly rise from the bed and make my way to the apartment’s entrance. When I open the door I notice Tiffany standing there crying, even though she shut me out from her life and kicked me out of her house last night, she’s still my best friend so I let her in with a look of concern on my face as I seen her with two suitcases. The concern quickly turned into anger once I saw that she had a black eye.

“Oh my goodness, Tiffany what happened?” I asked as I took her suitcases inside and shut the door behind me.

“Rodney is what happened, I don’t know what’s gotten into him, he’s been acting strange lately and he’s never put his hands on me before I don’t know what possessed him to do this.” She said crying

“It’s going to be alright Tiffany.” I said trying to console her the best way I could

But everything was not going to be alright, I couldn’t be strong for her if I wasn’t strong for myself, she just got through telling me I had no respect for myself or no confidence. There was no way that I could lift her spirits. I loathed not being able to help my best friend when in need. I despised myself for putting myself in this situation.