BETRAYAL


For as long as I can remember I’ve always had a problem. Deep within me…they are problems that I have yet to solve. Most times I think I need help and others I believe it’s just a phase. What is this problem I’m talking about? Well no one is important except me, well when it comes to a female that is. This problem has caused me to lose a few friends here and there…but I can’t seem to overcome it. But maybe one day I will learn how to be loyal.

Plzzz tell me wat yu think!! This my first story on here and i would love for some constructive feedback...plz tell me what yu guys think!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: iPAIN,

o0o0o0 continue plz!!!!!
its different..
Cud i be in it??

quote:

Originally posted by [&&Shara]*Jahari:
o0o0o0 continue plz!!!!!
its different..
Cud i be in it??

Thanx!!! But...i already started writin but, if i add more characters, sure! THANX...n im about to aadd more rite now!

Chapter 1
I closed the diary. This never worked, I always tried to write down my thoughts and start numerous diaries over and over but I never could. Why can’t I seem to be true to myself? Pondering threw my thoughts I was interrupted by my door flying open.

“Monica, come here, come look at Mark’s MySpace page!” the little boy screamed

“Oh my God, Jariel could you please get out of my room? Do I look like I care what on someone else’s page?” I screamed as I got up to escort him out of my room

“Fine, that’s why I don’t like you anyway.”

“And you honestly think I give two shits? ...get out” I pushed him out of my room and locked my door.

I sat down on my bed and grabbed my cell phone and dial my cousin Ju-Ju's number.

“HELLO” she screamed inside the phone

“Damn bitch, calm down why are you so loud?”

Her tone had changed. “My bad G, the music was super loud”

“Aw it’s cool, but naw I was just calling to see when were you coming over because you do remember Lamar funeral is tomorrow right?”


“Yea I was on my way out now” she said

“Aw well shit ok, I will be here…just hit my line when you outside”



I hung up the phone. We were going to our friend Lamar’s funeral. I still couldn’t believe he was dead. See my cousin Ju-Ju who I had just gotten off the phone with was my best friend. I love that girl. We both grew up with Lamar and his older brother Santrez. We were both cool more cooler with Santrez than Lamar though but we loved them the same. Ju-Ju and Santrez have a thing for one another. You know like one of those boning relationships? She lost her virginity to him…and never turned to anybody else. But I and Santrez have been cool all my life. He comes second to Ju-Ju they are like the most important people in my life. When I was younger I had a crush on Santrez, but since Ju-Ju was older he went for her. Sometimes I think that if he ever came on to me, no questions asked I wouldn’t resist. But then I think about Ju-Ju and how much she loves him.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: iPAIN,

CHAPTER 2
I dreaded going to funerals. Gloomy, sad, and scary they always made me question life. I thought about his death all night long, and now it was finally time for me to go to his funeral, I just wanted this to be over. I got out of bed and went in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I noticed that my eyes were blood shot red. They were probably like that because I had cried myself to sleep the night before. I closed the bathroom door and sat on the toilet. I thought to myself
“wow I can’t believe I’m getting ready to go to a funeral for Mari, wow.”
Pulling myself together I gained enough strength, sluggishly getting in the shower; I slowly picked up my towel to begin washing my body, as I stood in the hot steamy shower, the hot water just streamed over my body, at this moment I couldn’t think of how to actually take a shower, the only thing on my mind was Lamar. Once getting out of the shower I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, I could barely function so I did the simplest hair style possible.

By this time I was in my room getting dressed. I heard my mother walking slowly past.

“Monica, hurry up, we don’t want to be late…that’s rude.”

“Ma, here I come, I don’t want to be late either, and in fact I don’t want to go at all, I don’t want to see him like that.”

“Monica, please just hurry up, no one wants to see him like that”

“Ok”

I went in my room and woke Ju-Ju up; she was probably worn out from all the crying we had done last night. I walked in my room and tap her on her shoulder.
“Ju-Ju get up ma momma rushing me and stuff … so you got hurry up and get dressed”

I walked out of the room and went down stairs to make me something to eat.

…I knew how my mom felt about this whole thing, but she knew how I felt as well.

Finally I was done eating so I went to go make sure Ju-Ju was ready and we both waited on my mom to get in the car... My mama finally got in the car…We could tell she had been crying. My grandma looked over at her and rubbed her on her back, which was her way of comforting someone.

“Cynthia, it will be ok" my grandmother said in a soft voice, "it will be ok.”

The rest of the ride to the funeral home was quiet, no one said anything, you could see fear on everyone’s face, and we were all afraid thinking about where we were headed. Once making it to the funeral home, everyone sat in the car in silence for a moment, when I decided to break the silence.

“Ok, I think we should go in, I’m sure it’s about to start.”

We all slowly got out of the car with defiant looks upon our faces.

As we walked into the funeral home I felt my heart drop. I looked to the front and the first thing I saw was his casket with people surrounding it. It was also birthday balloons and cards aside the casket, it then dawned on me that today was his birthday.

Right then the tears began to fall; I looked around the room and saw despondent looks upon everyone’s face, covered in tears.
We all walked in and took our seats.

The sermon went on for about 20 minutes when they began to read the obituary. After the obituary reading everyone said happy birthday to him.
The speaker went up to the microphone, and I knew he was about to announce me.

“Now we will have a poem, written and read by Monica James, he said in a tender voice.”

Suddenly I felt a streak of dizziness at this moment, I was scared, I wanted to read the poem, but I was afraid of what might happen when I got up there, I could have a nervous breakdown or something, who knows? Mari and I had a very close relationship; not as close as me and Santrez but he was someone I called my best friend and I loved him, he was a very good friend. I don’t know but it was just unbelievable that I was about to read a poem at his funeral.
Walking to the pew, I looked out to everyone sitting and then down to see his casket, again the tears began to fall.

“Hello, some of you may know me, for those that don’t; I’m Monica, a very close friend of Mari’s. I have known Mari for 10 years of my life, 10 years that I will always remember.”
…
The tears came harder.
“It’s ok baby," a lady said who was sitting.
I shook my head assuring her that I would be fine.

“I wrote this poem for Mari, and the name of it is Missing You”

As I began to read the poem I could feel my throat tightening… I looked out to the audience and saw Santrez, I almost choked up

“I know the day will come for me to see you again, I swallowed deeply, to catch my breath, “but until then I will be missing you.”
I know that you are in a better place, but I can never stop missing you.
I know that the love I have for you is unconditional, and the times we shared are unforgettable, and that’s why I know I’ll be missing you.
I hope you are smiling down on me to see that I’m being content as I could possibly be, but my heart still hurts because forever I will be missing you and never will I ever forget you.
“Be strong honey, I heard another lady say” I looked up and smiled.
I know that day will come, so until then, I love you and I will forever miss you…”

After I was done reading the poem I couldn’t say anything else, I had a knot in my throat, and my eyes were blurry from the tears. Everyone was clapping as I walked back to my seat. “Bless her heart” I heard someone say. I sat down and all that was running through my mind was, why him? And what was the purpose for life or death… I couldn’t take it any more Ju-Ju knew something was wrong with me and I looked at her I could tell she felt the exact same way I did. We both walked out and went in the bathroom, neither one of us could hold our composure any longer. Before I knew it Ju-Ju was catching me before I fell. I never knew mourning over a death could be this hard.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: iPAIN,

OOOO I LIK DIS BUMPZ

quote:

Originally posted by ~^*BARACK OBAMA IS FREAKIN PRESIDENT*^~:
OOOO I LIK DIS BUMPZ

Thanx!!!
I jus need more ppl to read it!!!

cool concept so far mama,
if theres any constructive crit i can offer you though is just to re-read your writing and check up on any quick typo errors you might have done such

quote:

“Cynthia, it will be ok; my grandmother said in a soft voice, it will be ok.”

which should instead be "Cynthia, it will be ok," my grandmother said in a soft voice. "It will be ok."

i know shit like thats minor & time consuming but trust it makes all the difference to the reader, but like i said cool concept keep going

quote:

Originally posted by CHANEL |­­ ♪:

_{i know shit like thats minor & time consuming but trust it makes all the difference to the reader, but like i said cool concept keep going}

Thanx... and yea i didnt really proof read b4 i post...but thanx for noticin...i will soon change it

quote:

Originally posted by ~^*BARACK OBAMA IS FREAKIN PRESIDENT*^~:
OOOO I LIK DIS BUMPZ


Thanx!!!
I jus need more ppl to read it!!!

YEA I AGREE....MORE PPL NEEDA READ DIS DOE CUZ IT IS REALLY GUD.....KEEP IT UP GURLIE

quote:

Originally posted by ~^*BARACK OBAMA IS FREAKIN PRESIDENT*^~:


YEA I AGREE....MORE PPL NEEDA READ DIS DOE CUZ IT IS REALLY GUD.....KEEP IT UP GURLIE

Yea...thanx n im new 2 this so i dnt rele kno how to promote it!...but hopefully ppl will jus start readin

update

I jus need a few more uppzz...

CHAPTER 3
Since the funeral I and Santrez had gotten closer. He had been coming over every day and normally we would just talk. The childhood feelings I had for him were slowly coming back. He was on his way over now.


I looked around my room to make sure everything was nice. Although we were cool stuff still had to be presentable when he came over. I looked over at the clock and it read 7:30. Damn it sure was taking him a long time to get here. Just as that thought went through my head my phone rang. I looked at it and it was Trez.


“Hello?”


“Yea, man come open up the back door”


“Iight, here I come”


I hung up the phone and ran to my back door. My granny and little cousin were down stairs. And I wasn’t supposed to have company. I opened up the back door and walked Trez into my room.


“What up man…what was you on”


“Nun, bored…where you coming from?”


“No where really just my dad’s house”


“Aw ok” I said “Well what up G I’m bored as hell, entertain me”


“Entertain you?” He laughed. “I’m yo company you suppose to entertain me”


“Naw it don’t go like that up in here … so start with the entertainment”


“Iight, well the only entertainment I know is freaky shit”


“What the hell”


“You said entertain you, so ima do it the best way I can”


“Iight well show me what you got”


All of a sudden Trez got up and tried to kiss me, but I moved.


“What are you doing?” I said moving further away


“Now Mon, come on man. Don’t act like you don’t like me”


I knew I wanted to kiss him. But to hurt Ju-Ju? How could I. But he just lost his brother, he probably needs all the attention he can get, and besides its jus a kiss.


Before I knew it his lips were on mine and a kiss went to him trying to remove my clothes


“Santrez! Oh my god why are you trying to take off my shirt?”


“I’m sorry, I was just getting into it. My bad G”


With that I just looked at him. I broke the concentration I had on him by leaning back in to continue our kiss, whatever happened…would just happen.


One thing leads to another and before I knew it, him and I both were naked. Him on top of me. I lay there in silence not knowing what to say...when I felt his lip touch mine. I stopped him.

come on yall....show some love

This message has been edited. Last edited by: iPAIN,