I'm just asking, I wrote this about a month ago and my sister said it was kinky haha. Honestly that wasn't my intention, but now reading it, it does sound a bit dirty. So I'm asking you guys if it does suggest a ahem, 'green scene.'

Our body would move against the concrete rivers of thoughts and ideas and whatnots. Of centuries and centuries built upon dirt and stone. Of labor and revolutions. And we'd all be moving towards one direction, our eyes would wander back into a blur of stop signs and traffic lights, and we'd be wondering if we should stop or move forward, our mind moving faster than the gridlock caravans trapping us under a bell jar.
----------------------------------------------------------------

- actually, this is just about being stuck in traffic. I was currently reading the bell jar, I just listened to modern world and gridlock caravans was playing in my head. :]
- I would really appreciate it if you gave your opinion. thanks!

The Birth and Death of the Floating Stars

Caught in light-years away, hiding from our prying eyes until ready, explosions, collisions, and disappearances, so unsteady…
Let’s watch its birth, though it only leads to its end, let’s watch the cinematic that our cameras send.
We’ll probably talk at the fifteen minute interval, unperturbed by the birth and death of the floating stars.
We’ll leave the show with damps on our charisma, we saw the birth and death of the floating stars, but it leaves no permanent scars…?
Beginnings and ends starting, no tears or sound creeping around.
It’s odd how we only remember the most spectacular, all the other births and deaths of the floating stars quite forgotten.
So many miracles unseen, so many sad partings at the guillotine…
Why do they go unnoticed, it seems people only hold things in memory that are dear to them, no one cares for those stars that don’t start, for those stars ready to depart…
We can ignore for as long as we want, no matter how you view, their still the births and deaths of the floating stars, and to me each one leaves scars…

--------------------
opinions much appreciated!

quote:

Our body would move against the concrete rivers of thoughts and ideas and whatnots. Of centuries and centuries built upon dirt and stone. Of labor and revolutions. And we'd all be moving towards one direction, our eyes would wander back into a blur of stop signs and traffic lights, and we'd be wondering if we should stop or move forward, our mind moving faster than the gridlock caravans trapping us under a bell jar.

I like it!

it seems very... not metaphorical, I don't really know how to describe it...

compelling words that don't make too much sense, but nonetheless seem very interesting

quote:

Originally posted by (Owen):
Let’s watch its birth, though it only leads to its end, let’s watch the cinematic that our cameras send.

So many miracles unseen, so many sad partings at the guillotine…

I like these parts. I don't know if you intended this but what you wrote brings to mind a jumble of flashback concerts and a couple turned into friends. All around them the same thing is happening to other people, but it's blatantly being ignored because acknowledging anything that resembles this would only make things painful?!
hmmm, sorry for lack of a better term haha. And I don't know if you'd get this, but maybe it's like living in an hourglass.

Whew! That was a mouthful of opinions.
I enjoyed reading it but reading birth and death of falling stars again and again wasn't so charming, overall though nice. keep it up! :]

-peace if that wasn't the imagery you were aiming for.

thank-you!

while it wasn't directly the imagery I was going for, it was exceptionally close.

quote:

Originally posted by (Owen):
thank-you!

while it wasn't directly the imagery I was going for, it was exceptionally close.

thanks also for the comment. I know what I've written was a bit of jumble and a short concrete siphon of my random thoughts. Hah, I'm doing it again. Ah well thanks for the comment, just wondering if it does suggest something dirty? :]

quote:

just wondering if it does suggest something dirty? :]

hahaha, no, not for me, not unless I try to looking for something that could sound dirty!